Grateful 365 #39 – Waking Up



Today I woke up. It’s an astonishing sentence and a great feeling. For one, waking up means that you are alive, and being alive is amazing. Forming the sentence “Today, I woke up.” implies sentience and with that the ability to be glad that you managed this often overlooked accomplishment.
Waking up is also the first step to every other choice you have from this morning until whatever day you don’t wake up, and that’s an amazing gift indeed.


I once had an idea to do a story series that began with this premise and then went on to detail how a day could change based on decisions from one moment to the next.

“Today I woke up and got ready for work.”
“Today I woke up and decided to walk to Canada.”
“Today I woke up, took a pee, and went back to sleep.”
“Today I resisted waking up, but found that more sleep wasn’t what I needed. I supposed it was time to get those aliens out of my closet.”

Stuff like that, but maybe with a few more paragraphs in between.

Point is-anything is possible after waking up, assuming that you woke up first.

eyeI didn’t manage it today, but tomorrow I think I’ll try to appreciate the process of waking up more. I’ve never devoted too much thought to it, but it’s impressive to think that every night our conscious thoughts relinquish control to the subconscious and then manage to boot back up in a matter of minutes hours later.

Just from a sensation standpoint, I’m pretty sure it feels neat.

And so today I’m glad that I woke up. The hours of sleep were tumultuous at best, but at least I know I have a lifetime of choice and decisions right around the corner. Everything could change today or everything could wash back into that pleasant fog of normality.

~all the love~

Grateful 365 #24 – Noise


I’m not entirely sure where chunks of today went, but what I am sure of is that will continue to cycle through whatever channel I’m on, youtube playlists will continue to loop, and mp3s will play out their musical payloads no matter what state I’m in.

I’m grateful for the noise–whether talking or music or just sound effects and laughter. When I often wake with a sudden need to focus on anything but myself, noise or music is exactly that anchor. Maybe anchor is the wrong word…maybe noise is the kite I need, lifting me up and instantly engaging me in whatever form it takes. When trying to nod off back to sleep that same blanket of sound helps make the transition easier, coating my mind with varied unlikely lullabyes.

I’ve always been a fan of sound in the air, and although I would like to praise one or two in particular, it was a team effort that I’m grateful for today.

So thank you noise for being there and not minding whether I was focusing on you or tuning you out.

~all the love~

Grateful 365 #23 – A Cat Behind the Knees

CatKnee2When sleep is difficult, waking up can sometimes be even worse…

Today though the first sensation that traveled to my sleep addled brain was something warm and soft and squishy behind my knees.

Not a headache. Not intestinal needs. Not unwanted awareness of my bones.

Just soft, warm, squeezable vibrations that, through sheer virtue of cuteness, implored me not to stir.

As often as I’ve found this doorstop to my lower limbs a nuisance, I’ll need to rethink that stance as today I couldn’t have asked for anything better or more pleasant.

So thank you, Vigil. Thank you for steadfastly nesting behind my joints and keeping them warm and thouroughly purr-permeated through the night.
~all the love~

Grateful 365 #21 – My Bed

bedWhen what you want most is sleep, there is nothing more alluring or seething with comfort than a freshly made bed.

The one I’m settling into as I type was given to me by my friends, delivered with my friends, and set up by my friends.

That makes it better.

It’s also big, and I can already feel my body relaxing against the matress as the sheets begin to warm.

I now commence cocooning inside its blankets.

emote bed

~all the love~

Grateful 365 #12- Exhaustion

_(_ _)_ zzzzzzzzzzzzz~

_(_ _)_ zzzzzzzzzzzzz~

As I type tonight…I. Am. SO. Tired.

Today I was at work for close to 12 hours…

I helped out as an advisor to some of the newer instructors for most of the day. I worked in the office and planned out much of what needed to be done for our upcoming camps. I was informed that I had a short presentation to give at the meeting in the evening and was also trusted with assisting a fellow coach later in said meeting.

The presentation went pretty well, and I was frankly honored to be respected enough to work with my fellow coach as we endeavored to correct some of our coworker’s strokes and give them pointers on how to teach technique.

Everything today was wonderful and I feel extraordinarily fulfilled and very lucky to be respected and held in such regard.

However as previously stated, I. am. tired. …and I’ve never felt more overjoyed to say so.

It’s a beautiful feeling because with all my body has been through recently, sleep and fatigue have been strange bedfellows as of late.

Sometimes I simply can’t sleep even though I’m tired. Other times, I feel exhausted even though I’ve done virtually nothing all day.

Today, I am tired in the best possible way. I’m tired in a way that indicates I worked hard.

I deserve this fatigue, and even now as I type this, I can feel my eyelids getting heavy.

I’m looking forward to the rest this weariness will provide, and feel good about the effort I put into acquiring it.

Good night!

~all the love~